Micah Jennings

1.10.05 Monday [bank or judge?]

I spent the night thinking realistically about a bank heist. I tossed two candidates around in my head—the Wachovia by the mall and the Bank of America off of the highway. It’s more than a little unnerving how quickly the choices popped into mind, and why.

These were the banks I considered joining when I was trying to open an account. All of them gave me problems. Wachovia wanted more information than I was willing and able to offer, and BoA had a limit on how much cash they could accept as a deposit. I eventually opened an account with a federal union, but I’ve never forgotten the way the other two looked down their noses at me, and especially how they were understaffed on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

But even with a target, I’d have other obstacles to deal with. I’d need a team, for one. (And Ben and Aaron are useless in this regard, as they’d never even dream of breaking a law. They scrub their scuff marks off the walls when they parkour, for God’s sake.) And even if I could somehow scrounge a crew together, I know nothing of safes and bank procedure, aside from what Hollywood has taught me. So I decided against banks. Anyways, I’m only after a few thousand here, not the crown jewels.

But then another idea came to my head, or rather, a name. A name with a face. A grey-bearded face, speckled with bifocals and liverspots of age and “wisdom.” Judge Reginald Memphis, “strong arm of the South.” I’ll never forget the way he shook his gavel mercilessly at my mother and sentenced her away for armed robbery—a crime she never committed.

It was on that cold December morning that I realized my mother had been stolen from me. And if we were facing the punishment for robbery, we might as well enjoy the benefits. Then parkour found me, and everything came together.

Yes, Judge Memphis is to blame, isn’t he? Maybe if it had been a smarter judge, or at least one with a keener interpretation of “justice.” But no.

He will pay.

-M.J.

posted by Mr. Linty @ 11:42 PM